Mad World
by CaptainBubbles
Summary: I know this has been done many times before but this is my interpretation on Sirius's last thoughts. Songfic inspired by "Mad World" by Gary Jules


When people say that when you die your life flashes before your eyes, they're absolutely right.

All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places  
Worn out faces

He remembered everything; from his family's home to his first year at Hogwarts to his graduation. Then on to those wasted years of life spent plotting revenge and contemplating on what could have been. The thoughts of what would have happened had one single thing been different. Then finally those few months of happiness when he experienced his godson's presence.

Bright and early for the daily races  
Going no where  
Going no where

He was going nowhere. Into the darkness, into loss. Questions buzzing behind his eyes-'Am I going to die?' 'What's going to happen to Harry?' 'Will I see Lily and James?'

Their tears are filling up their glasses  
No expression  
No expression

The face is a mask of emotions. He heard his name shouted but didn't register it; these wonderful memories were too intoxicating. His face showed one of shock before he fell gracefully through that veil of misery. Eyes slipped shut as the reminiscences of his life took complete control of his mind. Those years of happiness, of being young, brought a smile to his fading face. Then another vision and he wanted to scream in agony, his look of one that has lost everything.

Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow  
No tomorrow  
No tomorrow

There would be no tomorrow. These dreams would be the last he knew. His mind would be completely encased in darkness and there would be no tomorrow.

And I find I kind of funny  
I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm dieing are the best I've ever had

Dieing? It was certain. His fate had been decided and now nothing was left. Again, his mind shifted to those times early in his life. That old raggedy hat on his head, meeting his best mates, the pranks, James's marriage, Harry...

I find it hard to tell you  
I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles its a very, very  
Mad world  
Mad world

The chance to watch Harry grow up was violently ripped from his fingers again. The worst was this time he could do nothing about it. A mad world indeed, life takes a turn and then ends.

Children waiting for the day they feel good  
Happy birthday  
Happy birthday

His birthdays would stop. Would anyone celebrate them? Would Remus or Harry remember? He could never wish Harry a happy birthday; he wouldn't be there for him like he so wanted to.

And I feel the way that every child should  
Sit and listen  
Sit and listen

Thoughts ceased and he could only hear the sound of his body falling through the air, the darkness. He seemed to be floating on his own cloud. He heard nothing else.

Went to school and I was very nervous  
No one knew me  
No one knew me

The inviting smiles of the other students. No one knew him yet they still wanted to be his friend. His three best mates that would do anything for him.

Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson  
Look right through me  
Look right through me

Then that filthy rat of a friend betrayed him. That damn rat he thought he could trust with his life. That James thought could trust with his life; he did and Peter crushed it. His hands clenched at his sides as he was forever falling. His being seemed to be fading in and out as if someone could look right through him.

And I find I kind of funny  
I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

He blinked back tears as James and Remus entered his mind again. Those good times he had that were lost to the wind. The life that was taken from him so young. Poor Harry who, again, had to face the world alone. A long shriek of agony passed through his lips and erupted in the field of silence that surrounded him.

I find it hard to tell you  
I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles its a very, very  
Mad world  
Mad world

This mad world he was no longer a part of was slipping from his fingertips. One last image of Harry appeared before his gaze and he reached out to grasp him. His fingers closed on nothing and tears sprang to his eyes. One single teardrop escaped and his eyes slipped shut for the last time.

Enlarging your world  
Mad world


End file.
